I have trust issues. He knew about them.

I was the one who confessed first, however. I took a leap of faith, telling myself that if I fail I would lock myself away for a long time. I honestly thought it wouldn't lead anywhere.

He said he felt the same.

I asked him a little after we first started dating if he would have ever confessed his feelings to me.

He said he wouldn't. I didn't ask why.

I asked him today.

"I asked once if you were going to ever tell me about your feelings if I hadn't confessed to you first and you said you wouldn't have. Why is that?"

He responded with this.

"Because I need you to trust me. You had lost that ability, and I wanted you to be able to trust people again. If I had admitted my love first... You wouldn't have been able to make that leap, and be caught."

"That hit somewhere hard."

"The thing about love... is it's also about care. And I care for you. And I want you to be able to trust people again... So you can live a better life because of it."

Guys I love him. I love him so much.