I think the scariest realisation I've had in the past few months is that I've never been in love. I'm almost 23 years old and I've had two very serious relationships, neither of which have resulted in what I now believe to be real love in the romantic sense. And I don't mean I haven't loved them. Because I genuinely have. I have loved them the only way I've known how.  With a level head. And something tells me that being in love is nothing like that. Yes, that sounds idealistic but it's how I feel. Maybe it's because I never let myself feel vulnerable in either of those relationships. I knew how much they cared about me and I felt safe. And I admit that love is more than the chase, it's more than feeling safe because you know the other person cares more than you do. But still, in both situations, I was the one who made the final call to be done. ANd there's something to be said about that. Because a person in love doesn't ever want to let go, no matter how hard it is.