"No one could ever love you more than I do" is an abusive statement.

If someone says that to you, it's a big red flag.

If you've said it yourself and believe it, examine your heart.

It's a tactic to control people. "You can't ever leave me because there is no one who will treat you better than I do. No matter how terrible that treatment is, it's the best you'll get and it's probably all you're worth."

If you think it's romantic- Who made you have the strongest, most loving heart out of 7 billion on this earth? I guess you are God now, to know that no one is as loving as you, no one is observant enough to see the beauty you do in your beloved? You love them a lot, probably. But take yourself off your pedestal. Lots of people are capable of loving just as strong. You're not the best in the world, you don't have the biggest heart. And that's the whole point of being in a relationship- you don't choose each other because you're the top 2 lovers in the universe. You choose each other because you love each other and are well-suited for each other and promise to fight through all your many, many imperfections, flaws, failures and outright wrongdoings.

I don't want someone to stay with me because they believe I'm the best chance they've got, that I have the highest quality love in the world or some junk like that. I want them to stay with me seeing all my shortcomings and forgiving me for them, loving me in spite of the existence of better people.

Don't let this world convince you that the emotional abuse it glorifies in its romance novels and tumblr edits is even a tiny bit healthy. It's not.

11 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

Accurate.

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

I agreed. I dislike when someone say this and when someone say "you're mine and I'm yours". I don't think they understand the meaning of everything.

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

Never thought about it this way. Put things in a different perspective. I don't agree or disagree with you, but I respect you for finding that other path to retaliate this overused statement.

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

You are looking waaaay too much into this. It's no different than other cliche and romantic statements other people say. Stop trying to make everything offensive.

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

SO......writer obviously doesn't know the song by the band

BAND OF HORSES....IT's a song called

"NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU"

  • A.
8 years ago

Not true. The way I feel about my boyfriend is that I love him so much that no one could love him more. Maybe people could love him equally - maybe they have, maybe they do currently, who knows - but I feel in my heart that no one could love him more than I currently do, because I love him enormously enormously.

I'm not saying I have a better heart than others, or that I'm trying to control him. Maybe we'll break up and someone will love him like this again. I hope note, but I don't know - I don't know the future. There's no control at all. I only want him to stay with me because he loves me, not because I love him.

As someone else said above, it's the same as any other overblown statement of feeling. It's the same as saying I love you forever and ever and ever, or I love you to the stars and back, etc. etc. It's just a way to express deep feeling and the promise at that current moment of everlasting love.

  • mod
  • moderator
8 years ago

This is exactly why I picked this letter- I wasn't sure I 100% agreed with it but it was a really well-written, different take on things and I thought maybe it could inspire some discussion and thought. Yay!

  • Amg
8 years ago

I think you're reading into it way much. If someone were to say that to me I wouldn't take it so literally; it's a cliche romantic sort of thing that you say in the heat of romantic passion. I've been in an abusive situation before too, so I get what you're saying kind of -- but it's not like you should assume that the person saying it is a controlling freak-o if they say it..! D:

  • Shae
8 years ago

I agree with the writer. That statement has always bothered me. It sort of messes with your head when someone says that to you, makes you want to stay with someone out of fear. At least, I have. Even if that was not his intention of saying it and even if it was true, I would have rather he did not say it specially since he knew I was not in love with him and couldn't do anything about it.

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

My ex used to say that to me all the time, I believed him and it made me feel like I didn't deserve any better (which I did). I completely agree with this letter, thank you for writing this despite having a controversial opinion. It's a new favourite.

  • vetter
7 years ago

I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to you but I know something bad happened to you.

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