I feel like everything I’m doing is wrong. I feel like I’ve been showing you more love than I ever have and being the best girlfriend I could be. It’s been a year a half and I still don’t feel like I’m as apart of and connected with your life as you are mine. I feel like no matter how hard I try you don’t notice it. I feel like you’re more mad at me than you are happy cause of me. I feel like you don’t love me as much anymore or want me anymore, I always initiate things but they don’t go anywhere or you shoot it down. I don’t think it’s fair you get to go to sleep right after talking to me and wake up with me still there whereas I have to fall asleep hours after not talking to you and struggle to fall asleep for hours and I never wake up with you still on the phone. I feel like you don’t put the effort in anymore and you’d rather be without me than with me. I feel like all I do is mess up good days and make you yell at me. I type in everything that physically made my heart hurt that you’ve said to me and I type in all my true feelings at night when I’m saddest. I don’t know what to do anymore. I should just give in and be the girl you want and not the girl I am anymore. I wish I was dead. I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. My boyfriend is always yelling at me and saying things to tear me apart. He needs to learn to put a filter on. He always speaks what’s on his mind right off the bat rather than thinking it through and thinking of the consequences cause all he wants is to hurt me and make me feel little so he feels like he has the upper hand. He doesn’t care about me as much. I try to include him in my everyday life and he’s just always so annoyed with me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I need to go. I can’t do anything right