when he looks at me it feels like everyone and everything around me is just slowing down. although it doesn’t, i wish it did so that i can cherish the few seconds his deep hazel grey eyes are just glaring into my soul. but then, he avoids me. he avoids all eye contact. and when he does that, everything around me goes crumbling down. i get dizzy, my heart stops. i don’t like the feeling. it’s a sick feeling that i never ever want to feel, and yet i do everyday. it’s rare for me to feel what i do when he looks at me anymore, since all he does now is avoid me. i can’t keep my heart in my chest since all it wants to do is pop out and find him and make him mine but i just don’t have the courage. i want to wrap my arms around him and tell him how he makes me feel. i want to kiss him and feel his arms around me too. i don’t want to feel that sick feeling anymore. i don’t want to spend countless nights wondering if he even has feelings for me. i’m sick of one day thinking he definitely likes me and the next day thinking he dreads my presence. i hate that when i moved here i had no plans of catching feelings for anyone and then he came around and immediately stole my heart. now this is all that’s happening and i remember exactly why i didn’t want to fall for anyone. i don’t know how to feel, if i should keep chasing or if i should stop. but i can’t not chase him if i never had any closure. i have to get the courage to talk to him at some point but it’s just not in me. i’m just a coward.