you see, I knew it was a bad idea to text you. but I just had to do it anyways, didn’t I? it’s a weekly thing. i wanted to start it out on the first week, my love of continuity told me I absolutely could not wait until next friday when I might actually have talked to you during the week and made it less weird. and then? for you to accuse me of this? even jokingly? to imply that I only y’all to you because I wanted something? it hurt because i might have been doing it subconsciously and i know you could spend months telling me you didn’t mean it and you were only messing with me but you won’t know that what if I was?? what if that’s what I was doing? i certainly would never choose to but what if? I don’t think it was you know that I love you past all possibility and would never, ever, ever, but when I try to justify this to you on monday how can I explain to you that all I ever want at any time of day is to be talking to you? because before I could just avoid you like the wind whenever I did something embarrassing involving you but that suddenly doesn’t work when we have a class together, when I have to see you every day from 8 to 9am. if I ever speak to you again I might cry. gracious. I’m a mess