The biggest deception to yourself is not telling the one you deeply love how you feel about them  regardless of the outcome. It’s being cruel to keep such matters secret. Then you wonder why you suffer. The answer is in your silence. 

All you’re doing is using your silence like a blunt weapon with your own hands. Using it over and over until blunt trauma occurs to your heart and you reach the point of no return.  The constant suppression of your feelings, the constant emotional torture of seeing a limited version of them. 

Settling with friendships when you want to commit to something deeper. Settling with the limited aspects of what they show, when you want to see more. Staying in this prison you call love, when you got the key to escape but you’re too depressed to use the key because the deadly disease of ONEitis holds you hostage.

You meet some people who try to help you see the bars you surround yourself in, but it’s too late as the disease has become terminal, and you don’t see the imprisonment of your mind and heart. 

Now you find out that they are married, that they are taken, that they are dead, that they are sick, that they are gone, and it too late.

Regret strangles you mercilessly... and you find yourself fading to black. 

Chem M.D