So I shot my shot, gave you three tries, and you never told me off, you just ran away. So I took that as a pretty muddy sign that you just weren’t into me. But then there was the way you looked at me- like I have all the answers. There was that thing you did were you looked at the ground with a small smile and your lips parted- you told me yourself, that’s an obvious sign someone likes you (I made that same face too). And then both times last year that I made a sarcastic comment about your hair or your beard, the next day you walked in with a haircut. So either I have bizarre timing or you really did care about what I thought and said. There was the weird mind reading thing we always had going on. There was the way you made me laugh. When you got tongue tied around me those days I looked damn good. All the little things. Men are so hard to understand. Maybe you really were just a good friend, but that was never going to be enough for me.

Anyways, it’s little late now. I hear you’re happy and with someone, and I really really hope she’s amazing. I’m 500 miles away and just went on my first date since you last night. He was hot and funny, but he wasn’t you. But I’m really trying here though and I feel better than I have in a long time. And that’s a really beautiful thing. Change is good, it just takes a hot minute.