you know that feeling deep in your tummy where you do not feel comfy and you feel sad and want to cry?
the feeling is not caused by anything specific, your entire body is upset and unnerved all the way to the core.
the feelings is longing for something but you have no idea what....
You could literally build a neon sign with the words "I AM FLIRTING WITH YOU" flashing across it right in front of me and hold it up to my face and I still would not get the hint.
(Sorry)
And I hear her underlying joke.
Coy, the crowd goes wild with laughter.
The real joke is this.
She might think she knows shit like everyone else but she doesn't. Sitting in high castles, everything comes tumbling down eventually.
Just because she likes to participate whenever someone glances her way doesn't mean everyone does.
And do you think you know pain?
Tell me, when's the last time you wanted to die? Tell me the last time you cried because you try to be a better person but those high castles like to dance around like a devil and drag you down to their actual level?
I'll wait for that answer. And don't worry, I won't laugh.
Because I'm far better than that.
I'm going to our friend's wedding today.
They've been dating for less time than we did.
I didn't realize how heartbroken I was over losing our future. How much I still miss you.
I hope life is treating you with love.
I am a huge fan of Bachata and Salsa. My favorite couple is Daniel and Desiree. Recently I've been learning a lot from their dancing skills. In fact, I've been practicing for years now all alone, then this couple came along. I'm not even a huge fan of my own dance culture as much as I am captivated by bachata and salsa. The art is amazing. I'm planning on taking classes near future to develop my skills.
{ S }
I stay with people I don't love so when they leave, I won't feel anything.
I don't want to feel that love and despair I felt with him ever again.
I'm too afraid
I really think we're falling apart, and I need you to do more than just say you don't want it to happen. I fall asleep every night waiting for you to text me back and I'm beginning to wonder if it's even worth it. I love you. I really do. But I don't know if I can do this anymore when you don't seem to care. Where did the two second responses and compliments and I love yous and goodnights all go? I miss you, the real you, the one who would talk to me and tell me what's going on and not be too tired to even ask how I am. I feel like you're falling out of love with me.
If you are, just tell me, so my heart can just break and it be over.
right now it just hurts and it's kind of agonizing. Not to be dramatic.
Please tell me we can fix this.
He called me at 4 am because he was feeling hopeless about the universe and he said that talking to me made it all go away.