I hope to see you tomorrow. I miss you.
(Although I would never say such a thing irl.)
I've never missed people. Growing up, being constantly transported between two houses, you get hardened to not seeing people. I would miss people if I could, but for some reason I can't.
And then after all these years- there's you. You've been sick for days now and I haven't seen you in far too long.
Is this how it feels to desperately miss someone? I want my head on your shoulder and I want you to be braiding my hair and I just want to be with you, more than anything else right now. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't miss people, and yet here I am, missing you. Terribly.
I read Rilke. No, more than that, it reached into my heart and pulled out every single word like a magician pulls out their colorful handkerchiefs knotted together at the ends. And I felt like I needed to learn another language just so I could read the original instead of the translation because you lose things in the process of translation, a gold syrup that passes through inky fingers. It's broken a bit of me... And I can see it so clearly... I suppose I'll be searching for printed copies tomorrow, despite the icy sheets of paper that'll coat the world like scattered hand-written prose on the carpet floor. Things like this twist my insides until it resolves. I need to find an end to it, press my fingers into the pages with a highlighter and pen at my side...disappear. I thought about sending you the one I read. You and I get into those small talks about everything and anything and color and light and imagery and, fleetingly, I thought to share this too... But I think it is on a subject matter too...in tune...with a certain line of conversation to be shared without misinterpretation. After all, you and she...should no longer be connected with an "and"... And I assume that that friend of hers is not a friend. I am getting off track. You seemed so happy in the place you are in... I have decided against it. That is the end of it. But I can't help the toss and turn of the infinitely restless oceans startled by these strings of vibrant handkerchief words... There hasn't been a break. I'm lost in it. This is what I wished to send:
"Again and again, however, we know the language of love, / and the little churchyard with its lamenting names and / the staggeringly secret abyss in which others find their / end: again and again the two of us go out under the / ancient trees, make our bed again and again between / the flowers, face to face with the skies."
Signed,
Vivant
It's a terrible feeling when a number on a scale makes you question your worth. I wish I wasn't like this but I am. I want to offer you the best version of myself but idk where to start. I have a lot of broken pieces to put together
sometimes i lay awake at night wondering if anyone'll ever love me, or if i'll end up forever alone, just me and my music
no one told me that spending time with someone you love would be like stepping into a time machine.
time without you drags on, and on those days i usually wish it would end as soon as possible.
when i'm with you, however, the perception of time changes. i wish you could stay forever, since you somehow make hours feel like mere minutes.
Please, please please God let me meet him again. Please let us cross paths with each other again someday. I want only him
I miss him so much. Because I was so afraid to look back at him everytime he looked at me, now I never get to tell him how I feels about him. He looked at me everytime while I act like I don't feel anything for him. Now I lost him, and I miss him so much. It's been a month now and I still dreams of him. In my dreams, we were talking together and smiling and laughing together. I miss you so much
-mt