I can't stand this anymore.
A pressure masked like suggestion coming from my family.
I don't like talking to people I don't know.
I dislike it the most when comes to flirting or testing if there's a chance of working into a relationship.
They don't understand it, no matter how many times I explain.
And this makes me stressed
How can you love someone this much and feel so crappy?
You're supposed to work in relationships. Not throw them away. That's always been my philosophy. But it's been easy. I throw out the ones I tested out that felt wrong. But once I committed for years and once I became the one that cared THIS much to the point of near insanity... even if things are bad... this is what commitment is. You keep working. Keep trying. But fuck.
I'm dying just to get the minimum from you sometimes and its fucking killing me. How can someone be so cruel with their words and still be in the right? I cant handle this. I need you. I love you. So what the fuck?
Emily.
I’m writing this in hopes you might see it, in passing or maybe a mutual friend will pass it while you’re together; either way, this is for you. While you may not believe it, and it may be weird to compliment you in general; given our complex relationship. You should know, you’re absolutely beautiful, both when you try; but more so when you’re just doing mundane things. Such as sitting on the couch texting, or just eating. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that you’re taking care of yourself. You deserve the stars and the moon, furthermore; you deserve love and good fortune to come your way. Stay strong.
~Alex
You aren't in love with me.
You never were.
My wishful thinking
Made life a blur.
I had hoped you wanted me
For the longest time
That hope I'd longed for
Made love feel sublime.
But it was a facade.
A fake. A phony.
Like a stupid pony.
I was nothing. Another conquest.
But I must confide. I must confess.
You feel like the one
I had given up hope for,
But you are annoying.
You, I cannot adore.
You are a special breed.
Yes, you, my Dear.
It's you I hide from now.
It is you that I fear.
But you are nothing special.
There are others stronger than you.
But I don't know where to turn.
I am not sure what to do.
With you I am no longer in love.
That dream lasted for a while
And yes. It satisfied me.
Yes, it made me smile.
Now that I search for love.
Nothing can compare.
The depth I felt with you,
Nothing... Even laid bare.
No depth in this world.
Thanks for showing it to me.
Your shallow nature
Is blinded to everyone now...
Everyone except me.
If you are in love with a girl,
I hope you tell her so.
Please don't make her wonder
And hope in silence.
Tell her the truth,
And tell her now.
Is she your bestie?
Or do you love her deeply?
Because she deserves to know...
Do you think of her as a sister
Whom it makes you sick and disgusted to touch?
Or are you in love with her, secretly longing for that touch, but so terrified that you become sick at the thought?
Think of the many ways a girl can take that reaction, and then decide... Do you LOVE her, WANT her, or USE her?